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Turning over a new leaf is hard. Building better habits as an adult human being is difficult. 

I've known myself for some years now, well maybe not counting the first few years of being a baby, but it's been quite a ride. It's not the smoothest, journey-wise, but I am proud to say it's been a great experience so far. I must admit though, that this character I've become, can be a hit or miss. At times she's endearing, most times she could be chaotic. And like any plot that drags an arc more than it should be, I feel like living life in a narrative with no character growth is quite similar. 

I picture life in phases, of different levels, with varying difficulties. You start out with your child phase which is the most fun you'll ever have as a person. Your creative stats are through the roof. Basically, everything is magical. What disappoints me about this phase is you don't remember a lot from it, and remember even less as you age. 

After that is the discovering who you are phase which is probably the clunkiest phase. A lot of cringe-y stuff here, ladies & gentlemen. You may refer to your 10 year old Facebook statuses for proof. This part is quite pivotal though because the mistakes you made and the lessons you earned (believe me, you earned it!!!) will be carried over stats for the next phase.

Third is the I'm finally a human phase which is basically the culmination of your existence. You have a basic understanding of who you are as a person and you try to live your most genuine life. Carried over a not so stellar trait? Well, get ready for repercussions to be magnified at least 10x. Some regress to their child phase but with adult money, so imagine that. Want to build a Lego city around your living room? No one's stopping you. You can do whatever you want. You can tell that this is the most dangerous phase of all. A make or break. Sadly, not everyone survives it.

The good thing about all of this though is you can change your habits, only, you guessed it right, it's 10x harder. Your character is basically made of solidified foundation and those stats are nailed hard on you by now. 

But we can try right? You remind yourself everyday to become a better person and slowly and surely you see results. Yes you will regress. Yes, it could get repetitive. Much like video games, the grind gets harder when you're higher level. 

I'm a firm believer that you can always change your character. There is always a chance to be better.

What I'm saying is, don't get stuck. Don't lose hope. Just keep doing the best version of you. 


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