Help! I'm In A Coming Of Age Film!

Like how most coming of age films play out, our hero finds him or herself in an ordeal we call adulthood. And like most coming of age films, it can all turn pretty funny, somehow, along the way.

Being young has its perks. You can go crazy with your day to day activities because it seems like the most logical thing to do (at the time). You can stay up late night after night, wasting away hours playing Resident Evil, not minding a thing about tomorrow's responsibilities (because there is none). You can parade around establishments filled with like-minded individuals such as you and become a tequila machine. Wake up the next day without a hangover because (yes, you guessed it right) you're young!

You don't have to worry about bills, mortgages, rent, savings, stock market, promotions, etcetera etcetera etcetera. Being young sounds like the teenage dream. Being young feels like the best years of your life. Don't you just want to freeze frame every minute if given the chance? Your younger years can be summed up in a montage of you dancing to My Sharona in the movie version of your life.

And then one day, without you even noticing, you notice lines form across your face. You notice zits that never seem to go away. People say you look tired all the time, and you're starting to feel that you really are. Why does my body ache for no reason? I don't remember breaking a bone. Suddenly, doing things without thinking of the repercussions doesn't work. Eating a whole box of pizza will not go unnoticed as you find it harder and harder to fit in your jeans. A night of drinking? No thanks! I want to be well-rested to function properly at work tomorrow. Wait, what? Who are you and what have you done to Tin?

Your time is now the most precious thing you own. You start counting how many hours you'll get to sleep in a day and get excited if it's more than four. Buying things at Daiso or Japan Home is something you look forward to. Come Christmas, you are most thankful for quality bath towels and bed sheets because god knows you can't afford them.

It's not all bad. Adulthood has its perks like attending cocktail parties and finally knowing how to pronounce hors d'oeuvre. Paying the bills on time using the money you worked so hard for gives you the similar feeling you get when beating the big boss in a very, very advance level. Take that, responsibilities! Getting enough sleep is joyous and wonderful and I always wake up feeling like I came out of a coma.

So hello adulthood, you have finally arrived. I welcome you with open arms. Excuse me while I try to find my manual on How To Be A Functional Adult (And How Not To Burn A House In The Process). I know it's somewhere beside my copy of How To Not Eat Your Weight In Pizza And Other Stories.


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